Flames . . . flames . . . on the side of my face

As a child I was hot headed. Very, very hot headed. The kind of child who snapped quickly and violently. I can remember times when the smallest thing would set me off and my vision would blur and I would literally see red. A few minutes or hours later I'd remember what had happened.

I'm pretty non-confrontational now, probably as a result of the above and the terrifying thought that I could have really hurt someone.

There are still a few active hot buttons though. Things that make me so angry I'm barely rational.

1. Being hurt physically. Whether by accident or on purpose the one thing guaranteed to bring my crazy out is pain. So, if I stub my toe or you poke me just a little too hard take a few steps back and stay quiet for a couple of minutes. No sudden movements.

2. My fabulous sister Meg. I love the child like crazy; she's my best friend, my confidant, and I'd trust her with anything. However, she can push my button's harder and faster than anyone else on this planet. We're too much alike.

3. People whispering. If you don't want me to hear it get the fuck away from me. It's rude, unprofessional, and stupid. I don't care about your "secrets," I just care that you're a rude moron.

4. Backstabbers. Don't smile and compliment me if you're going to trash me as soon as I leave the room. I don't care if you don't like me, not everyone will. Just don't make me think you're a friend.

5. Dinging my car door on those stupid concrete thingies next to the gas pump. I'm pretty sure they're put there to make getting gas the most unpleasant thing on this planet. It's already smelly with sub-par facilities, why not make it a driving/parking hazard as well.

6. Bono. I don't know if it's his stupid glasses, his ridiculous hair or his smarmy-prick attitude. It's probably all three.

7. The fact that my adorable, but loud and excitable 9 year old cousin can catch fish after fish while screaming into the water, running like a loon, throwing rocks into the pond and not using bait. While I can sit out there quietly for hours with the best lures and not catch a damn thing.

8. People looking over my shoulder while I'm on the computer. Don't. Do. It.

9. That weird aftertaste that Coke leaves. It's like a stale leprechaun farted gently into my mouth.

10. Bad table manners. I am not the neatest person out there, I know this. Now, I'm not talking about elbows on the table or not putting your napkin in your lap. I'm talking chewing with your mouth full, making out with your utensil to get every last bit of food off of it, or mixing all your food into a big pile and eating it with a fork in one hand and a serving spoon in the other. Unacceptable.