Office Contests

I won an office contest last week. Everyone turned in pictures of themselves from 1984. Then these pictures were circulated and we had to guess who was who.

I was born in 1985 so I felt left out. I offered to give them a picture of a spermatozoa but the contest coordinator felt that the picture would be inappropriate.

They did let me make guesses though and I have to say I totally kicked ass. There were only five people who got them all right. They drew names for the prizes and I got a Rubik cube.

I hate Rubik cubes. I've never even come close to completing one and I've never had any desire to really try. I did, however, decide to display it on my desk space with pride.

Someone has been messing with my Rubik cube.

They keep mixing the colors! The colors need to match.

I don't even want to imagine the carnage that will await me when I get back from vacation next Monday. Blue, green, white, yellow, red, orange, mixed together all willy-nilly.



What if they start messing with Louie the Lightning Bug! Oh the humanity! These people obviously have no moral compass.

Brain Wracking

So I've been trying my hardest to think of ANYTHING to write about because I know me. If I stop for more than a week I just won't start up again. Days will turn into weeks, weeks into months and before long I won't even be able to remember the password for this site.

The trouble is, I can't think of anything to post about. I'm too busy with work to get into any kind of situation, I've got very boring plans every night and the only really exciting thing that happened to me in the last two days was that I got The Sims 3 yesterday.

So, yes. My life and the observations that go with it are too boring to saddle you with.

Maybe I'll think of something tomorrow.

Ugly Feet

I have ugly feet. Well, my feet themselves aren't ugly. But the things they do are. They shed a ridiculous amount of skin at all times of the year. They refuse to become smooth and callus-less. They get blisters from my shoes constantly. My toes grow dark black hair. I'll also admit to trimming my toenails down much farther than they should be just because I can.

Honestly, can feet get any more disgusting than that? People wonder why I always wear socks . . .

Surprise!

So I'm driving around my tiny town looking for a free air pump to fill my tires last night at 10:00 in the evening. I find one, do my thing, buy some gas, flirt harmlessly with the clerk who has sort of adorable cauliflower ears (seriously, it made him look adorable) - all the while checking my blackberry messages in one hand and my personal email on my iPhone in the other. I get back in the car and decide to give the parental units a call.

I call, talk to Daddy, mention that I'll be seeing them on Saturday and how I can't wait. When he says, oh we'll be seeing you sooner than that we're coming up tomorrow.

Uhh - what? Yeah, so they're visiting my youngest sister's new college which is about an hour away from where I live and they'll be staying the night at my house. That's fine normally. I LOVE when they come to visit because they do it so rarely. However, I'm in the middle of several big home projects, haven't cleaned my house in like a month, and need to mow my lawn. Ugh - so I was up until about 1 or 2 last night trying to get at least some semblance of order into my home. I'm also getting off work an hour early in hopes of doing a mad lawn dash to cut down the dandelions.

All I can say is when they get here they better be in a good mood and happy to see me or I'll be busting some heads.

Who's a what now?

Have you ever been dreading something. I mean really dreading something, enough so that you screen your calls, avoid everything to do with whatever your issue is, get angry, really angry, pout, stomp your foot, justify your avoidance to everyone, even yourself?

Well, I was/did. The funny thing about situations like that, they are never as bad as you know that they will be. In fact, for me they usually turn out better than I could have imagined.

I've always been a pretty lucky person. I'm not saying bad things never happen to me; they do quite often. However, I cannot even think of a time when that bad thing didn't lead to something better.

My sisters had a terrible car accident - we've all grown so much closer and more appreciative of each other.

I'm stuck in a terrible job, while working that job someone comes in and offers me a better one.

My car self-destructs on a 4 lane highway during rush hour - I get myself a brand-spanking new car (with the associated car payments of course. You can't have EVERYTHING)

I become terrified that my SO is getting freaked out about our future, he brings up where we will live when we get married in a few years.

It's a funny kind of life. It's also pretty full of win.

Picture Whore

I hate having my picture taken. I really, really hate it. I'm a chubby girl, I don't like seeing my double chin in pictures and my hair always look strangely flat. So I avoid them whenever possible.

However, when it comes to pointing a camera at myself and taking MySpace style pictures, I'm all up in that shiz. That picture in my logo - that's a picture of me taking a picture of me through the rearview mirror of my car. I've got pictures of me in my bathroom, in my hallway, on the couch, at the computer. Everywhere.

I take damn good pictures of myself too. You'd think with all of my practice, use of angles, and just knowledge of my body, that I'd be able to at least look like a normal human being in pictures.

Sadly that's just not the case:



See what I mean?

What kind of picture whore can't take a good picture?

Physically and Mentally Well?

So my iPhone seems to have come through it's traumatic toilet experience with only slight damage. Everything is working perfectly once I unlock the phone. However, when the phone is locked sometimes the screen lights up for no reason and I get a notice about an attachment not meant for the iPhone being plugged in. If those are the only issues I can totally live with that. I'm super grateful because the more I thought about spending $200 on a replacement the more I decided that I couldn't do it. I would have just stopped in at my nearest US Cellular and gone back to life pre-iPhone. It wouldn't have been a fabulous life, but it would have been an adequate one.

I spent my Saturday at a HUGE NHRA (I think those are the initials) Drag Race in Joliet, IL. I got up at 4:00 am, I don't get up at 4:00 am for Christmas so my getting up to go see some cars go fast proves how very in love I am with CG. I wasn't even very grumpy, which I'm pretty sure was a mind over matter thing in that I really don't want anyone to see the real morning "me" until I've got them in a place where they cannot leave me (related by blood or marriage) once they witness the dragon-lady that is me when I don't get my full 8 hours on a normal sleep schedule.

When I got home late that night I was expecting a big Katie (my beagle mix) mess. I was pleasantly surprised. Not only had she refrained from tearing my bathroom to shreds she hadn't had an accident or anything. Wonders never cease.

My Sunday involved my half-assed attempt at cleaning while my mind was screaming "just lay down for a little bit, you deserve a lazy day," sadly by about 4 pm that little voice won out and I spent the rest of the evening watching Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth *insert naughty comment here*. Mr. Darcy is my hero, I would totally smex him up right, but only after I sexored Edmund from Mansfield Park as played by Johnny Lee Miller. *sigh*

Physically Ill

Everyone who knows me knows how attached I get to inanimate objects. When I get something I hold on to it - FOREVER.

Those porcelain dolls I collected, until a bunch of daycare kids chopped all their hair off and wrote on their faces, making them completely worthless: packed away with special care and stored in my attic.

Those Barbie plastic figures that I got from McDonalds in the early 90's - still got 'em.

All of the save-able flowers that CG (Current Guy) has ever given me - around my home and in my keepsake box.

T-shirts from Middle School - organized by year in my spare closet.

So when I dropped my 1st Gen iPhone in the toilet last night I saw my life flash before my eyes.

If any of my high school friends are reading this you'll remember my sick attachment to my Razor phone. I kept that phone until some asshole stole it and made prank calls to everyone in my phone book. Even then, after I got it back I couldn't part with it, I finally gave it to a cousin who used it until a few months ago.

For two years that iPhone has been my life. I've used it for everything and even when I had no reception (which, although I hate to admit it, was pretty often) I carried it around like a security blanket. I have over 200 pictures on it, tons of music, texts from friends, singing voicemails, email that I only check over the phone.

I'm heartbroken, completely devastated. I know most of my information can be salvaged and there's even a slim chance that my phone will start working again after I give it a few days to dry out.

I'm literally sick just thinking about it. I don't want another 1st Gen, I want MY 1st Gen! *pout*

So I'm praying to the god of technology to save me from myself and from paying $190 for a new phone.